A CV is not the person behind it

A CV can tell you where someone worked, what they achieved and what they know how to do. It cannot tell you whether they were awake at 3am worrying about money, or what it feels like to be made redundant after twenty years of knowing exactly where you were going on Monday morning.

Suddenly, the routine disappears. The colleagues disappear. The certainty disappears. And sometimes the familiar version of yourself feels a little less certain too.

A CV does not show the parent trying to hold a job search together around school runs, family responsibilities and everything else life has decided to throw at the same week. It does not show the person wondering how long the savings will last, or how much effort it can take to open another job board, write another application and try again.

Behind every CV is a human being.

And this Movember, that feels worth talking about.

Job hunting can get under your skin

Searching for work is often described as though it were an administrative task: update CV, find vacancy, apply, interview, repeat.

Simple enough on paper.

In reality, it can be exhausting. There are the applications you hear nothing about, the interviews that seem to go well, the polite rejection emails and the employers who were apparently very impressed with your experience before disappearing into the mist.

And, of course, somebody will eventually tell you to “just stay positive”.

Thanks, Dave. Hadn’t thought of that.

The harder part is that job hunting can slowly become personal. After enough rejection, silence or uncertainty, it is easy for:

“They didn’t choose me for this job.”

to quietly become:

“There must be something wrong with me.”

Those are not the same statement.

Recruitment decisions happen for all sorts of reasons, many of which you will never know. Not getting the job can still be disappointing, frustrating and sometimes frightening, particularly when money is tight. But one employer’s decision does not tell you what you are worth.

Having a job doesn’t make you immune either

It is not only people looking for work who can struggle.

You can have a good job, a decent salary and an impressive title and still feel completely worn down. Deadlines pile up. A difficult manager gets into your head. Sunday evening starts arriving earlier every week. Rumours of restructuring begin circulating. Or perhaps you have become the person everybody relies on while quietly forgetting to look after yourself.

From the outside, everything can look perfectly fine. Meetings attended. Targets hit. Emails answered. CV polished. LinkedIn updated.

Behind the scenes can be a very different story.

And for many men, that is where another difficulty can begin. Workplaces often reward keeping going, staying composed and getting the job done. Those can be good qualities, but they can also make it easier to hide when things are not going well.

That is one reason Movember matters.

The moustaches might get the attention, and some of them really do demand attention, but the message behind them is more important. Men’s mental health deserves to be talked about openly, without embarrassment or judgement.

And while Movember shines a particular light on men’s health, looking after one another is something we can all be part of.

Strength doesn’t mean carrying everything alone

For generations, many men grew up hearing some variation of:

“Get on with it.”

“Don’t make a fuss.”

“Man up.”

There is nothing wrong with resilience. Life requires plenty of it.

But resilience does not mean pretending everything is fine until it is not.

Being strong and asking for support are not opposites.

Sometimes one of the bravest things you can say is:

“Actually, I’m having a rough time.”

And if somebody says that to you, you do not need to solve their problems before the kettle boils. Listen. Ask another question. Give them the space to talk.

We often ask “How are you?” as a greeting rather than a question.

Perhaps it is time we started treating it as a question again.

A small conversation can make a real difference

Think about someone you have not heard from recently.

A former colleague who has been looking for work. A friend who seems unusually quiet. Someone who always has a joke ready but has not seemed quite themselves lately.

Why not check in?

Send a message. Make the call. Suggest a coffee. And when you ask how they are doing, give them the chance to answer properly.

You do not need a perfectly prepared speech or a qualification in counselling to show someone you care. If it feels a little awkward, that is okay. Caring about somebody is rarely ruined by imperfect wording.

Movember encourages exactly these kinds of conversations: noticing when something seems different, reaching out and listening without judgement.

You will not always know what somebody is going through. And you may never know how much your message meant to them.

But knowing someone cares can make a difficult day feel a little less lonely.

And if the person struggling is you

Give yourself some of the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend.

If you are job hunting, take a break from the applications occasionally. A day without applying is not a day wasted. If you are employed and feeling overwhelmed, needing rest or support is not a professional failing.

Go for a walk. Spend time with people who make you laugh. Talk to someone you trust. And if things are becoming difficult to manage, consider speaking with your GP, a qualified mental health professional or a confidential support service.

You do not have to wait until everything reaches breaking point.

Nor do you have to have all the answers today.

Sometimes getting through a difficult week is an achievement in itself.

The person matters more than the paperwork

At CareerIbis, we spend a lot of time thinking about CVs, job descriptions, skills, evidence and applications.

Those things matter. Of course they do.

But they will never tell the whole story of the person behind them.

Your job title does not define you. Your salary does not determine your worth. Your employment status does not erase everything you have achieved.

And a difficult period at work, or out of work, does not make you less capable, less interesting or less worthy of support.

Your career is part of your life. It is not the measure of it.

So this Movember, whether you are searching for your next opportunity, finding your feet in a new role or simply trying to make it through another busy week, remember to look after the person behind the professional.

If someone comes to mind while you are reading this, perhaps send them the message you have been meaning to send.

And if the person having a thoroughly miserable week is you, please give somebody the chance to check in with you too.

Tomorrow does not have to be solved tonight.

Sometimes a conversation, a walk, a cup of tea or one honest sentence is enough for now.

You do not need a moustache to make a difference.

Although, apparently, November is an excellent excuse to grow a questionable one.

Need someone to talk to?

If work, unemployment or life in general is affecting your mental wellbeing, consider speaking with someone you trust, your GP or a qualified mental health professional.

You can also explore these independent resources:

• Movember Conversations: Guidance and interactive practice for starting supportive conversations with men who may be struggling.

• Movember: Spot the Signs: Guidance on recognising when somebody may need support and how to reach out.

• Samaritans: Confidential emotional support in the UK and Ireland. Call 116 123, free, day or night.

If you are reading from elsewhere, look for an established mental health support organisation or crisis helpline in your country.

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call your local emergency number.

CareerIbis is independent of Movember and is not affiliated with or endorsed by Movember. These are independent support resources, not services provided by CareerIbis.